True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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