Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize