your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
