It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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