So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
