we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
