i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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