I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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