I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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