your thong is hanging out like whoa
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Oh god it's open bar.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize