we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Randomize
