I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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