I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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