i think i scared a bird with my dick
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
