Are we in a gay sports bar?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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