i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
