Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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