I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
