Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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