he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
