we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
