Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Someone shattered a urinal.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
