eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Randomize
