Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
