No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Oh god it's open bar.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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