I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
