return my video game
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
