so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
