With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
