what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
