i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
