her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
