Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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