He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
