does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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