dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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