I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
