doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize