He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
