It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
