To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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