how can u be prego again
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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