i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
