I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
