Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
jump out the window naked night went bad
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