Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
