We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
