found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
i think i just lost a toe
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
