Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
