Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
