What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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