Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
