I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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