He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
