this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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