i think i have herpe
just one?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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