I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
