so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
This couple is walking their pig around campus
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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