Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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