Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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