I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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