Reggie can tackle my bush.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
