is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
