Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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