Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
