I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
