addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
