Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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