wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I supernannyed him into submission
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
