Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
