My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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