Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
