my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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