Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
