Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
