Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize