She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
