it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
