All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
