He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
