I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
