they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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