apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
