whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
