3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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