Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
