By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My life is pants optional.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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